April 1, 2020 Jesus Love the Little Children

Father, today I pray for our children.  Not just my own, but all of the children around the world who are impacted by Covid-19.  Father I pray for those children who have lost someone to this virus.  I pray that you would wrap your loving arms around them and that they would feel your comfort and your peace–not just today but in the days, weeks, months and years to come.

I pray for the children who are struggling with this new normal of social isolation.  They miss their friends; they miss their teachers; they miss their sports practice; their dance practice and all of the other activities they are a part of.  They miss the routine of their every day life.  It’s certainly been an adjustment for my two boys.  The number of meltdowns have increased, angry words, but I can see that it is not really angry, just the frustration and…so much they don’t understand.  It has brought this mama to tears more than once and probably will again when I see the stress they feel.

I pray for those kids father that go to school because it is the place they find love and acceptance.  It is the place where they are fed.  It is the place where they laugh. Lord, please let them feel your presence in their loneliness.  Oh Lord my heart breaks for these children so please bring joy into their homes and bring love and laughter to their homes.

And Lord in light of the things happening in our world, it might seem a little trivial, but God I pray for our high school seniors.  For them it is not trivial…they are missing out on so many things that they have looked forward to for the years they have traveled through the education system. So Lord, eradicate this virus so we can still give them the opportunity to walk the stage in their cap and gown at graduation time.

Lord I thank you today for the resiliency that children have.  I thank you that when all of this is over and we go back to a different, hopefully better normal, that they will be okay.  I am grateful that I get to spend more time with my boys, and I am grateful that it is at a time that they still like it best when mama does something with them.  In the midst of this Pandemic, I thank you for the family time that we have.

Amen

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March 31, 2020

Father, today teachers everywhere are on my heart.  Specifically today they are on my heart because those I have the privilege to serve started teaching remotely from their homes online.  I know that so many of them are so far out of their comfort zone that they cannot even see it.  Lord, they have done an amazing job.  In just a week they have gotten this off the ground as have so many others around the world.  I know many are still stressed and anxious and wondering how this is all really going to work out.  I pray that you pour out your blessings on teachers everywhere.

In Matthew 19:14 you said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”  Lord just as you showed your love for children, these teachers went into this business because they love kids.  I know that they are missing the face to face interaction, the high fives, the laughs, the smiles and just their presence.  Bring them peace in knowing they are doing all they can do.

Sometimes Lord, we get a little caught up on all of the academic content we need to teach them.  I know there are teachers who are worried about what kids will miss learning in this way.  God, please remind them that the most important thing right now is connection and students’ mental health.

In Titus 2:6, it says, “In everything set them an example by doing what is good.  In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.”  Teachers are criticized a lot, Lord.  I pray that this might bring to them some respect that has been lost over time.  I pray that along with integrity, seriousness, and soundness of speech, they will also add laughter and love in their teaching.

Finally father, today I am so thankful for teachers.  Thank you for the opportunities you have given me to work with so many amazing teachers that will do whatever it takes for their students.  I am also so thankful for the many teachers both academic and spiritual that have poured into me over the course of my life.  Again, I ask your blessings and favor on all of them.

Amen

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March 30, 2020: 2 Chronicles 7:14

Father, your word says, “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked  ways, then I will hear from heaven and I will forgive their sin and heal their land (2 Chronicles 7:14).  I have actually seen that posted a lot recently on social media.  Instead of just reading that and thinking what a great verse it is at this time, I want to follow it.  God, I humble myself to you and I pray.  Lord in this time of social distancing, in this time of isolation reveal to me those things about myself where I need to grow, the things that I need to turn away from, and forgive my many short-comings.  Father, it says Jeremiah 30:17, “I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal.”  Please I ask specifically that you heal our earth from Covid-19 and that your timing is quick.

There are so many of us who are worried, stressed, and anxious.  I am worried, stressed, and anxious.  I am worried about my children’s mental health right now.  I’m worried about my extended family.  I am worried about the economy and what will happen when this is all over.  I’m worried about all of the people who are out of work right now.  When these worries come, please remind me often of your word that says, “Be anxious for nothing, but in every situation, by prayer and petition with Thanksgiving, make your request known to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Phillipians 4: 6-7).”  Lord thank you for the gift that we have during this time.  Thank you that my family is healthy.  Thank you for the time we have together.  Thank you that we have what we need.  Thank you for the technology that lets us connect with other people and perform our jobs.  Thank you for our health care workers that are literally risking their lives for us.  Let me not forget to be thankful.  Lord in the days and weeks ahead, I pray for your peace not just for me, but for all of those filled with doubts and fears as we wait.

Amen

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God Bless Nannies and Their Grandchildren

A friend told me a week ago that she we going to stop checking my blog if I didn’t write something. I’m a little behind but here I am.

I’ve read that to have a successful blog you are supposed to post something every day. I hope to get to that point, but that isn’t really why I started one. I started it as a since of accountability for myself. There’s little accountability in journaling. It is so easy to put it off…and to be honest, after I posted my last entry and picked up two followers, it was a little weird to think that people from another country were reading about my life, but I guess that’s part of the accountability.

Finding time to write is difficult while trying to maintain a job, raise twin boys, and deal with recent personal struggles. What could I possibly have to say?

My last post was about finding faith and the wisdom of my grandmother. This one is similar. I’ve thought a lot in the past few weeks about my sweet nanny. I’ve let myself relish in the memories I have of her growing up. I have realized at 40 years old that there are so many things in my life that she shaped.

When I was in school I made really good grades and was dubbed as “smart.” Both of my parents are very smart though they give themselves little credit, and they would often say, “I don’t know where she got it. It wasn’t from me.” This was especially said about my love and gift for math.

I got it from my nanny. I can remember so many evenings of games just between me and her sitting at her kitchen counter. I’ve played yahtzee since I could count. My nanny gave me a love of numbers in that game as she taught me how to look for groups that added to 5 or 10 first to make the addition easier. She also taught me strategy. I remember the sequencing game called “Rack-O” that I’ve never known anyone else to have. Another particular favorite was Parchisi. I’m sure there were others.

I remember when she was baby-sitting one night at whatever age I was when it was time to learn long-division. I saw no real sense in the trial and error method of trying figure out how many times 42 would go into 3,406. She saw it and showed me how to estimate it to find a starting point. It was my nanny who gave me a love and zeal for math. At 21, I began my teaching career teaching math.

Anyone who knows me also knows that I am an incredibly competative person–I’ve been known to throw a bat (but not in a really long time), and the only person I’ve ever not wanted to win against was my nanny (until recently as I have become very BAD at Candy Land!). I believe somewhere with her I learned some humility.

There’s no doubt that she showed me and many more what love is. I know that next to my parents she has had the single biggest impact on my life and its outcome to this point.

While I cannot say that my resolution at finding spiritual health is nearly complete as the final week of January is here, I can say that it has begun…more so than it has in a long time. Since her funeral services I have listened to the songs from the CD of Allen Jackson that was played at her services. In particularly dark moments these words echo in my ears:

“Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in his wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace.”

Thank you my sweet nanny for singing me a good night song from your heavenly home. I love you always.

Parenting Twins and Finding Faith

When I started thinking about writing a blog, I did not really have an idea of what I would write about each day that anyone would find interesting should they decide to follow it.

My focus this month in my quest for a healthy me in 2015 is spiritual health (read the about section if you are wondering about this).  My life on a daily basis is on the trials, joys, and triumphs of parenting twin boys.  Tonight those two things meshed together pretty well, hence the title.

Tyler did not get desert tonight nor did he get to play with his nerf gun with Taylor and me because he could not stay in his bed last night.  It was a long battle at bedtime (currently my least favorite time of the day).  He was devastated so in the midst of his hurt and anger, he decided to start hitting me.  With that he also found himself in the timeout chair, and afterwards we had a conversation about more appropriate ways to be angry followed by hugs, kisses and I love yous.

It’s really hard to follow through with punishments and consequences when they are so upset and crying crocodile tears, but I know that is part of the reason we are in this dilemma is our own lack of follow through.  As parents we are working on that.  In times like we had this evening, I wonder when the day will come that they say, even if to themselves, that they hate me.  Fortunately it was not tonight.  When I was tucking Tyler in bed, he told me that he loved me more than Jesus does.  Man I love that kid!  And his brother too!!!

So after tonight’s bed time battle when Buzz Light Year ended up in the top of my closet and the kitchen was clean and coffee made for tomorrow, I sat out to read some scripture.  I’m a little ashamed to say, it took a minute to find my Bible.

As I am taking a different approach to resolutions, I have not decided to try to read through the Bible in a year–just to read some of it.  I decided to start with Luke.  I have to say it was a little bit of a different experience.  In the past, I’ve read the bible on my own because as Christians we are supposed to.  I often got lost in the words and really did not think much about what I had read.

I think the difference is that right now, I am in a time in life where I really am seeking something.  As I read the first two chapters in Luke, there were three verses that got my attention.  One brought questions, and two brought reassurance.

In Chapter 1, verse 15, as the angel is speaking about the conception and birth of John he says, “He will also be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother’s womb.”  I wonder about this because I was raised with the teaching that we are all separated from God at birth, and we are reunited with him when we profess our belief in Jesus Christ and become “born again”.  Does this mean John was different?  I’ve often wondered and even more so as I held my sweet boys for the first time, how a baby is born separate from God.  It doesn’t seem to make sense to me.  I may have to research this a little more.

Elizabeth’s words in verse 37 bring an assurance and reminder that I often forget. “For with God nothing will be impossible.”  My faith doesn’t seem strong enough to believe this right now, but it is something that has been ingrained in my heart almost since birth, so hopefully my faith catches up with what I do really know to be true.

This last one makes me smile and laugh a little.  I have often thought about what it was like to be Mary, the mother of Jesus.  Can you imagine how jealous all the other mothers would be?  I mean come on…He was the perfect child!  As I read the end of chapter 2 where the family had traveled to Jerusalem for Passover, and had traveled a full day back only to realize that Jesus was not with them…then turn around and travel back to Jerusalem to find him after 3 days in the temple.  How worried and terrified Mary must have been.  As she is scolding him and asking what he was thinking, he replies, “Why is it that you saught me?  Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?”  The next verse says that they did not even understand the statement that he made.  Even Mary did not have it easy parenting the perfect child.  It makes me feel like I have a little bit of a chance!  Thank you Mary and thank you Jesus!

 

It is hard to believe that the two week Christmas Vacation has come to an end.  In a way it seems like it has been so long and in others so short.  The Friday we got out of school, I got the call from my mom that my grandmother only had a little bit of time.  While she has not been in good health or sound mind for a long time, it is never a call you are ready for.

Fortunately, I had the opportunity to travel the next day and spend some time with her on Saturday and Sunday.  She was asleep the majority of the time and had no real awareness in her eyes when they were open.  However, I believe that on a spiritual level she new I was there.

A week ago today, I got the call that she was gone.  As was her nature, she waited until Christmas was over.  Her two oldest daughters have birthdays on December 26 and December 27.  She waited until December 28, 2015 to reunite with the many loved ones and friends that have gone before her.

At her services, a story was told of when she was rocking Becky while Jackie lay at her feet (they are one day less that a year a part), and she asked herself how she would ever raise two girls (she went on to have 5 and in a second marriage 1 more girl and 3 boys).  Her answer was that she would take them to church…and she did.

I’ve asked myself that question many times about my two boys…so, I will follow the advice of a wonderful woman and take them to church.  This morning they spent their first Sunday in the actual church service, and they did great. (Don’t judge…we’ve been before but they have been in the nursery.)  It does make it a little more difficult to pay attention myself, but I am so proud of them for how well they behaved.  Today we visited Brenda’s sister’s church.  This will not be our church home, but we will continue to look for a place that accepts our family so that I can raise my boys in church.

Thank you Nanny for the good advice.  I love you always.

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